Finished Teaching Class

Approximately five hours ago, I just finished teaching the course Art of Conversation at the Vancouver School Board. I still remember when I got my first teaching gig at the VSB, I was excited, and was using my conversation skills not only to meet people but to potentially change their life around. The possibilities were endless. To this day my first set of students were a lively bunch, they were animated, many of them young, some of them a little older, but it’s been fun so far. Since then I’ve taught a lot of my students simple things that they weren’t aware of.

The thing about being a Conversation Coach is that it’s my job to really push people to be better at not only what they talk about, but how to say things. Many people that take my class are shy, and down deep inside I know that if they continue to be shy they’ll be left in the background. Last time I checked there’s not a lot of soft spoken C- Level executives.

But now that this set of students has graduated from the course, I feel that many of them were able to get something out of it. I’m hoping that I continue to feel the joy of helping people out the way I did the first time I taught a class.  Truly I’m grateful to help people continue to have a better social lifestyle, personally and in their business.

I look forward to working with them again in the future. It’s always exciting!

Storytelling to Motivate

Art of Conversation -Storytelling has been one of the oldest forms of communication. Even before our ancestors were able to verbally create words, they were telling their stories in caves with pictures and dye. As time went by and verbal communication came into the every day, people of the past sat around fires in caves, in battlefields to discuss the victories of the day. And even today when we go camping, many of us share ghost stories, or stories of humour to bond. Storytelling is powerful.

It does what statistics will never do, which is move people to massive action. Stories allow us to emotionally experience something that a number can not do. Nor will a PowerPoint presentation be the key to ensuring that the people you work with will remember the information. Do you know what a PowerPoint presentation is? It’s a text book on screen…and how much do you remember from your textbooks?

Your presentations need to engage your audience. And the best and simplest way to keep their attention longer, to have them remember information longer, and to also ensure that they are moved to action is by stories. Strangely enough telling stories is a delicate art. This is why though there are a lot of different books out there, not all of them make it as best sellers. So how do you ensure that your presentation is the equivalent of a best seller. Here are the four essential elements to every great story.

1) Keep Your Perspective Consistent. When telling a story either tell in the first person “I” perspective, or the third person perspective of the character. Notice that all great movies will either use the “I” or they will have a third person character involved. They don’t go “You did this…or you did that.” I’ve never ran into an excellent story that even remotely used the second person perspective.

2) Details. The details you give the story are very important. They should be rich, and vivid and include as much of the senses as possible. Visual details, sounds, and even olfactory senses if the story does have one. People like to imagine.

3) Emotions. Emotions are keys to story. Or else what happens is that you really don’t have a story at all. Evoking emotion either through your tone of voice, or through the use of emotional words will help people understand you more. There is nothing else that we have in common other than emotions. We all have emotions in common.

4) A Conflict and Resolution. What challenge did the character have to overcome? What did the character learn along the way. If you just discuss about the conflict and don’t tell people how you resolved the situation, then you’re going to leave people feeling miserable. Don’t do this unless this is your goal. People like positive endings, and a great ending will leave a great lasting impression to move people to action. Those are the four essential elements, next time you read a great story, or you see a great presentation notice the story format. Notice that every successful motivational speaker, or sales person also is a great storyteller.

Visit http://www.conversationarts.com for our upcoming FREE Workshop on Complimenting.

Exciting News When Shared

You ever notice that when you’re sharing exciting news, that some how there are people who seem to bring it down. It’s such a terrible thing to do…the question is whether you’re aware of it or not yourself.

Let’s say that a friend of yours gives you some great news about starting a new business. She’s all excited, and ready to go, and all of sudden you start giving her advice on why she needs to be realistic about accomplishing her goal.

A big mistake that I hear from conversations and even have experienced in real life, is the fact that I see people bring down the energy of good news by being critical.

You might be in the best mood, you might have gotten a raise, or you have this brilliant idea for a new product line, but these people instead of sharing in your joy they put you down or over analyze the situation.

“Hey i have the best idea. I’m going to start my own business that manufactures robots that can dance to music. I think these will be very popular around the clubs, and I think a few people who have the money would like one just for one.”

BAD: “That’s a stupid idea, why would anybody want to buy your robots. I personally think that people don’t go to clubs to see robots dance. And I don’t know one person who would be interested in this product.”

GOOD: “Well it sounds like you’re really into this. I can sense the excitement that is coming from your voice. What about this project makes you excited?”

DON’T be one of those people that has to find all the loops and be critical of what another . I’ve always had the simple philosophy…”This world needs more happiness.” So why when someone is the most happiest would you critisize her. If you think someone’s idea isn’t great, or if you don’t share their joy or about to make some critical judgment…Just don’t. It’s that simple.

Instead share with them that joy…”Oh that’s great that you’re so excited about this new business you’re starting. What made you want to do this?”

Notice I’m not saying you have to agree with the idea, it’s just you need to be supportive of how the person FEELS. Let them be excited for that moment, don’t rob away that sense of accomplishment and joy.
Keep making that person feel good, and then what you do, is that you wait till the very next day when their joy has calmed down slightly, then have a more objective conversation about the “realistic” aspects of a business. People will appreciate you much more because you weren’t trying to be a party pooper on their idea.

Next time someone has a really great idea, or shares some exciting, just share the excitement. At times we like being excited and let people be like children.

For more information please feel free to go to the website http://www.conversationarts.com. We have a FREE Workshop coming up for the Art of Complimenting on Jun 14th.