Just Practice Listening

In this day and age, it can be very difficult to be a good listener. And part of the reason why is because we’re constantly being bombarded with information, that any many times it’s so difficult to keep our minds quiet. There are many times, including now, we’re I’m constantly chatting to myself. I’m thinking several different thoughts in my head, and it can be hard to silence them. Even when I do try silence the thoughts in my head, I have the thought about silencing my thoughts.

To be a truly great listener, requires more than nodding your head, and responding to what’s being said, it’s about being in tuned to the underlying message that someone is not saying. And in order to that, you need to be able to quiet your own mind down, and trust the intuition that is inside of you.

One of the greatest things I learned as a coach with the Coaches Training Institute, was “How can I trust my own instincts?” The simple answer is this…you just do. But in order to fully develop that, you need to be able to learn to silene the noise in your head that serves no purpose. This way instead of listening to the chatter in your head, you can start to not only listen with your ears, but with your eyes, and your body. It sounds strange, but the “gut feeling” that you have, is your body listening to the other person as well.

If you ever want to be a great listener, learn to quiet your mind, either through yoga, or meditation. Whatever activity that will help you stay calm and allow you to relax your mind. When you are relaxed, that is when you will be able to fully listen not only with your ears, but with your heart as well.

Talking to your Managers

It was interesting, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend, and she was a little concerned because she works in an accounting firm. During her previous year and half of working she had mentioned that she developed great relationships with two senior managers, but unfortunately both of them have moved on because of maternity leave. At first she was quite worried, but then she knew that she couldn’t just coward and shy away from meeting the third manager, the one she worked with the least.

It felt a little strange to her, to build a new relationships with the senior manager she worked the least with, but she realized how important it was to foster a relationship that wasn’t just about work. She shared with me that it was important to understand who her managers were, and what their personal life was like so that this would allow for their professional relationship to grow even more. In case she had any questions, or any problems that she knew that she could go to this manager without any problems or feel discomfort.

Ironically most working professionals will understand this in their mind. My girlfriend not only understands this, but she puts it into practice. (She was one of the only 2 people to be promoted from a junior associate to senior associate after her first year when she worked. She works for a big four accounting firm in Vancouver.) And this is what I believe is partially her success her ability to work hard and foster the professional relationship with her managers with a personal relationship touch that doesn’t go overboard.

However, most people aren’t doing that. They treat work too professionally, and therefore when they need to bring up a legitimate concern about work, it can be hard to bring it up  or for these associates to ask for help. What results is that many upper managers, and C- level executives often feel that they are left out of the big picture.

Make it a point that if you work in a large corporation to take the time to know your  managers on a more personal level. This will help bring team cohesivness, and bring down anxiety when you need the attention of the managers or directors that you work with.