Do You Know if You’re Getting Laid Off?

Welcome Conversation Artist!

I am very excited, this morning I finished writing my e-book: Art of Conversation. At the moment I’m working hard to bring to get it out on my website.

And I am also very excited to be presenting my power storytelling workshop to LOVE (Leave out Violence) in Vancouver.They are a wonderful charity who works with at risks youth teaching them.

Also please note, that I have moved my Art of Conversation Workshop to Aug 9th (Sunday) from 9am-5pm. If you are interested please feel free to contact me at 604-782-0801 or visit our website at www.conversationarts.com for more details.

Do You Know When You’re Getting Laid Off?

I was recently having a conversation with a close of friend of mine, who works for a very well known corporation. I asked her, “How important are social skils at work?”

She responded , “I think they are very important at work, and let me share with you a story. When the recession started hitting hard, and cutbacks were being made, one of the first people to be laid off was a senior manager. She would always do her job,and was quite technically superior at her job. But she never really talked to people at the office. She kept to herself and did what was needed to get the job done. The trouble was that no one really knew who she was, and I think that’s why she was one of the first to be let go, even after years of hard work. I don’t think the other managers and partners in the company found her personality fitting into the culture.”

As I listened to the story,and reflected on it afterward, these were the conclusions I came up with.

1) Your technical skills will get you so far in life. After that your soft skills such as communication,your personality and ability to work with others will help you keep the job you are in now. Seniority didn’t matter in that particular case, they were looking for a way to lay her off because quite frankly people didn’t feel that she fit in.

2) If people don’t know who you are, they aren’t going to care about you, and why will they defend you when they have to make decisions about who to lay off. You have to talk to people and get them to know you.  “I think she’s a hard worker” vs.”I really like working with her.” Do you see the difference? Which one has more power for you to remain at your job?

3) Take an interest in others at work. It’s the opposite of number 2. Not only do people need to understand your personality, you need to be able to take an interest in people at work. We are still human beings that want to be valued and listened to and not just treated like we’re another worker.

Call To Action:

Ask yourself? If you work inan environment with other co-workers and managers, what three actions can youtake to increase your social presence at work? In the next week, take thosethree actions and continue to be social at work.

Are You Being Relevant?

I once had a student in my class who was assertive and asked me, “Why can’t I find people who want to talk about the issues that I want to talk about. Why is that people are so afraid of being challenged?”

I asked him if he took an interest in what other people were doing, and if he made an effort to talk about what other people wanted to talk about, not just what he did. Unfortunately he was so determined to find people that had only the same interests that he had. He would connect with other people on one main interest, but the moment there was not a second one, he dismissed them as being a potential friend.  He later admitted that he had a tough time maintaining any long term friendship.

I was saddened to hear this from him, but he was missing one key factor in developing long term relationships. Being relevant to another person’s point of view.

Sandy, is my best friend, she’s doing her graduate degree in  urban development in Hong Kong at the moment. For myself, I know very little about development and city landscapes, but I do take curiosity into why she finds it so fascinating and I listen. I ask her questions that explain more of her opinion. I make her feel valued. And most of all, if the topic is important to the other person, I keep the conversation relevant to that person.

This is a part of being charismatic. Haven’t you ever had a time when you were talking about a favourite topic of yours, and then within 15 seconds of talking, the topic completely changed and somehow you feel a little left out and ripped off that the conversation thread never fully finished?

I know I have. And that’s due to poor listening skills. When someone comes up and talks to you, ensure that you allow yourself to be relevant to the topic they are talking about. If my friend talks about urban development, I might ask her about which cities does she believe are the most eco-friendly. Or I might ask her, tell me what would you change about the city landscape if you had a chance? What more would you like to see, green spaces, transportation, wider roads? Just don’t change topics too suddenly…destroys the rapport building process.

Be curious, be relevant to the topic being discussed, and the more you become relevant to the topic that people are discussing, the more you will be known as the person who knows how to charm people.