Are you Destined for Social Mastery?

Are you Destined for Social Mastery in your life? (Part 1)

According to Malcom Gladwell, author of Outliers, to be a true master in life at any activity you have to put in 10,000 hours of practice time, and with the ability to dedicate yourself to always making incremental improvements in that skill. This is why even if you do talk for more than 10,000 hours in your life, doesn’t make you a good conversationalist?

The question remains, well how exactly do you get to the point of social mastery in the first place. Others give up too soon before really trying to learn any skill, and most of us give up the very first time. It took me a very long time to understand the procedure of how to get great at conversations. Conversations isn’t just about talking, it’s a whole procedure of how to get better. In this blog post I want to share with you some important findings, that if you read every word, could lead you to be a social master in life.

1) You have to change the way you think. The way you’ve thought is leading to where you are today in terms of your social conditioning. Your social conditioning comes from many places, your parents, hanging out with friends that no longer improve in life the same way you want to, and from co-workers.

Now here’s the tricky part, it’s easy to say, but it’s hard to do. You HAVE to for 30 days in a row…recondition yourself in the social skill you want to improve upon. Let’s say you want to be a better networker, the first thing you need to do, is to write down an affirmation that is similar to “I’m an excellent, fun, passionate and enthusiastic networker. I meet people to help them, and in return they are more than happy to help me.” You have to say it with meaning.

Anytime a negative belief comes through, just say to yourself, thank you for sharing that thought, but I CHOOSE to think “I’m a dynamic networker that everybody loves.”

2) Visualize your success. Close your eyes, and visualize for the next 30 days the type of people you want to network with, and people you want to associate with. Take about 7 minutes out of your day. This could be at a tradeshow, your favourite pub, or at a cocktail party. But it’s essential you do that for 7 minutes. Most people don’t realize how powerful the ability to imagine is. Our brain thinks in terms of pictures (about 94% of us do) and yet that we ignore or are ignorant about this particular learning style. STOP! Close your eyes…think of a red car in your mind. Now that you’ve opened them…how many of you spelled out the letters R.E.D. C.A.R. in your mind? Now how many of you actually saw a red car in your mind?
Don’t fight the natural way that you brain thinks. This may take time to get use to, but visualize and imagine the success you have with your conversations.

3) Take the time to read about successful networking tips or about improving your social skills. This is important. Choose one skill to master and stick with that for the first 30 days. For some people, it’s about managing their social anxiety, or it’s about approaching strangers, or it’s about continuing conversations. But for the next 30 days Google articles that are about the topic you want, and spend at least 10 minutes reading articles on that subject. This will help recondition your subconscious.

The hardest part is getting it done for the 30 days in a row. This has been shown that this is the best way to start immersing your mindset into a new conditioning and belief system. This isn’t easy, you’ve been conditioned for years on how to talk, ways to behave, and so it can be extremely hard to shed that.

Now here’s your challenge. 1) Write down an affirmation right now! If you can text someone on the phone, you can write an affirmation.
2) Imagine yourself talking to someone you really want to meet. An actor, someone you admire, and imagine that conversation going very well.
3) Find an article that will help you get started on the area of conversation that you really want to master. This should be an aspect early in the stages of conversation, such as approaching, how to remember names, how to shake hands, and how to make a great first impression and so forth!

Now if you’re already going to say…that’s a lot of work to yourself…this is EXACTLY WHY you aren’t getting the dates you want, the friends you want to meet, and getting the business contacts you hope for. You won’t even put in the time, and purposely follow the correct strategy to being a social master. Keep following the strategy you have now…and all you get is what you’ve got.

When you’ve completed those exercises….look for the second part of social mastery, which is, “Are you a Social Master Hypocrite?” on my next blog post.

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